IMAGO Therapy
Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a form of couples therapy developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. It focuses on healing childhood wounds and improving relationships by understanding how our past affects our present.
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“Imago” is Latin for “image.” In this therapy, it refers to the unconscious image of love that we form in childhood — based on our caregivers. As adults, we often seek partners who resemble that image, even if it leads to conflict.
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IMAGO is based on the ideas that you are attracted to someone who unconsciously reflects the unresolved parts of yourself — your unmet childhood needs, wounds, or expectations — in order to heal and grow.
Goals of IMAGO Therapy
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Heal emotional wounds from childhood
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Increase empathy and understanding
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Turn conflict into connection
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Create a conscious, loving relationship
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To create a shift from unconscious reacting to intentional responding
IMAGO Dialogue Step 2
Validation:-
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Acknowledge that your partner’s feelings make sense, even if you don’t agree.
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Say: “That makes sense because…”
IMAGO Dialogue Step 3
Empathy:-
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Try to feel what your partner is feeling.
Say: “I imagine you might be feeling…”
IMAGO Dialogue
A structured way of communicating that replaces blaming or reactivity with empathy and curiosity. It has 3 steps:
IMAGO Dialogue Step 1
Mirroring:-
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Repeat what your partner said.
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Use phrases like: “What I hear you saying is…”
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Helps your partner feel seen and heard.
IMAGO dialogue allows people to feel truly heard, not judged or dismissed — which builds connection and emotional safety.
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This dialogue works at it:-
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Slows down reactive communication
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Reduces defensiveness and blame
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Helps partners speak from vulnerability, not attack
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Deepens emotional intimacy